Tuesday Ramble

Tuesday afternoon ramble.......

There is something that is tugging at me and when things tug and keep tugging, I know it's something asking for my attention.

This summer has been one of letting go and creating space and being a bit wibbly wobbly as things reorganize themselves........and as I reorient myself.

There have been some big changes.  Amongst these changes, I am finding myself looking at my work in a different way.....although it is also a way that is very familiar and core......I think I just sometimes drift away from it.

What is shifting is the ideas, feelings, and such around exchange and reciprocity.......and doing the type of work that I do in a society where capitalism is driving the bus.  Like everyone else, I have bills to pay and mouths to feed..........and with everything getting more expensive, finding my practice alone not able to comfortably support our family.  I got a part time job, which i am enjoying very much.  I didn't expect what has been coming up for me.........and it showed itself starkly when I was writing a piece for my most recently newsletter rambling in dismay at what I have watched happen to the holistic field.  I realized how the money piece throws a sort of glitch in the flow..........and I've sat with this quite a bit.  When this work is ultimately about connection and relationship, to throw the desperate quality of money into it, well.......it's a bit out of alignment.  And yet, we all have bills to pay and mouths to feed.......so that monetary exchange is necessary.........I kept thinking about how it is about our relationship with that need.........

I thought back to older ways, where the "healers" (Never liked that word as it is so loaded as of late, yet it will suffice for now) supported the folks  of the village and the village supported the "healers".  They were essential and they were valued.  I thought how nice it would be to be able to meet those that came to my door with "lets take a walk and go meet willow and see how she can help.".........and to have some sort of support come my way and not have to worry about "here's what I charge for that service".

I'll admit that this is a very romantic view, and yet it is also pretty practical.  And I do not know how it can work, even though I feel deeply that it should be able to work.

This past week I have met with several folks that came to me for support. I knew the situation for each of them was challenging, and so when asked what they owed me, and how they could pay me, I said "pay what you can....and YES I MEAN THAT."  And each one sent what they comfortably could my way.

What I noticed was HOW INCREDIBLY GOOD THIS FELT.  There was something in this reciprocity and allowing choice, which allowed trust that was enlivening.

I don't know how to carry this over to all of  my work just yet, but I would like to explore this further.

I thought back to the glitch in the energetics that the "career" path of it has.........and how we are all feeling the squeeze on finances lately........and when I overlayed that onto health conditions (as above so below) as I so often do.......it was exactly the same thing.  You see, I believe that all chronic conditions (or acute conditions that recur in patterns) are, at the core, encouraging relationship with self and with the land and all of it's inhabitants......another way to say this would be that they are moving us towards being in alignment with the natural rhythms....with nature, of which we are. Often we don't venture there (because it usually requires great change that we might not want to do for one reason or another) until we HAVE to, until we are forced to, until we feel entrapped..............the holistic field as a career orientation is no different........clientele and product sales dwindle and we scramble to keep up, to keep afloat..........being forced to make other choices that perhaps are there to push us into doing things in a different way....in a way that is in greater alignment with nature.

Maybe. Maybe I'm totally off.  Maybe I'm only partly off. Maybe I have this tug of a feeling because there is something spot on true about the essence of this.

For me a piece of this was to go and get a job job.  This made room for me to, at least sometimes, be able to say "send what you can."...........

I read a blog piece recently that was incredibly powerful written by a fellow herbalist.  In the piece, he reminded folks to remember why they do this work in the first place..........he said a lot of other things as well, but that one stood out.

The world is changing rapidly and also very slowly........and I am always saying "Stay Your Path".....which is similar to "remember why you are doing this work."

How wonderful it would be to be able to always say "give what you comfortably can" in exchange for what I can comfortably give and that the exchange was respected and  equitable.......in a way that could still support the work that we do. I think others feel this too.........but we are also driven by fear and the impending due dates on mortgages and rents and so we continue with more of the same..........but how amazing would it be if we could do it another way?!

Ramble Over........