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CV Chronicled: You Are Here (Update

Almost 6 weeks post initial onset of covid. This is where I am. I am here. I am enjoying documenting this journey and sharing it. This is not to say that my experiences are everyone's, or that my way through this meandering fascinating tunnel will be the same, or even similar to anyone else's. This is not why I chronicle this nor why I share it. I chronicle it because it is a way for me to plant sign posts along the way, which sometimes take a while (sometimes years) to go back to and see the bigger picture and how things connect. I share it because I think it might be helpful to others, especially the more nuanced etheric things that are things we just don't talk about enough, because those things are things we can often only speak of diagonally, sideways, backwards, or inside out. Rarely do we speak of these things straightforward. I feel that is unfortunate, and also quite understandable. For everyone approaches everything in a completely unique way, based on their own history, their own set of experiences, their own makeup.....and therefore everything really is subjective and interpreted in a unique way........even when it's straightforward. Perhaps it is my Capricorn nature that doesn't like to mess around with half truths and subtitles, which I interpret as dishonesty (see? Subject. It just all seems like anything worth speaking about should be spoken about either straightforward or through poetic verse, which could be one in the same............

Ahhhh but the point of this piece is to share an update.....and perhaps some things I have learned along the way.

The past two days have been the first two days in 6 weeks that I have felt pretty ok, for the most part. Each day something would shift, which wasn't always positive. Something would improve a bit, and something else would either worsen or pop up with a jolly "hello! I am here for you to work through, since it seems like that is the mode you are in right now,......what's one more thing?!" Each thing would have me going through the journey of fear, frustration, and finally reconciliation and understanding after listening. You see, each woe that we have, especially physically and emotionally (although what other woes are there really? The mental ones are just our silly minds, but darn if they can't be pretty convincing and persistent!).

While I am still greatly dismayed that I HAD to go on this journey with covid, I am also completely certainly that I HAD to go on this journey with covid. It has brought newer layers as I experience what it does in my body combined with my genetics and my history and my choices, and through that I have nearly completely (not totally there yet) flipped my understanding about viruses from one that is "oh. no! They are here to get us!" to "oh (or whatever this thing is) really are offering opportunities for greater healing, possibly greater healing than we ever can ourselves. Having Covid has been like having 12000 Presence in Healing (The modality of energy work I do) sessions all at once and then having the pieces come together faster than ever. And trust really don't want to have 12000 sessions all at once......I dont think most could handle that WITHOUT the, dare I say, upgrade that comes along with it. I think shining a light on so many "problem" areas all at once can really do a number on our mental health........however the upgrade, the gifts, makes it tolerable, if we are willing.

I am learning so much and each thing that comes, I think....."OH I should go write about that!" and then I get directed into another tendril.......which is only to say that there is a lot more I am experiencing and learning than what I am writing about. I am sharing what I have the space for, and will continue to do so as those spaces open up.

So down to the basics.............Most of the systems of my body have been affected by Covid. It has taken it's way right to my shaky spots and dug its way into the things that were closer to the root, brought them back up to the surface for me to look at and decide what I am going to do with them. Sounds simple, right? In a way it is, but that doesn't mean it doesn't take attention and energy and making some new choices that are not always easy.

So what changed in the past two days? The biggest thing is I am eating completely differently for the past 4 or 5 days than I usually do. I find that my tolerance for many foods is at a low right now, and so I am listening to that, every little stomach cramp and belly ache and fart (haha, really hard not to listen to those, some of them are pretty incredible! I hope that made you laugh!). I am eating simple. I will eat one apple. See how my body responds. I will eat one steak. Watch and wait again. I am eating nothing processed, no grains, no sugars aside from maple syrup....and am having only about 2 tablespoons of milk in my coffee, which is on its way out too as I the more I lean into foods, the more I don't feel dairy is my friend, at least right now.

I have been doing all of the herbs that I know.....and have been suggested to me by several reputable herbalists. These are (And please dont assume these will be right for you....I can tell you that even some of these listed here have not been right for me at certain times.):

Baikal Skullcap & Dan Shen (For MCAS), Bacopa, Damiana, and Lobelia (for Dopamine levels), Cleavers (for lymph).,, Hawthorn (for heart and vascular system), Black Cohosh (for many things but to help wth headaches and to help with cerebral spinal fluid, which we know both EBV and CV like to hang out in), a Hypertension blend I have used in the past adapted from one of David Hoffman's formulations, Lemon balm (for digestion), Milk Thistle (for liver), Schisandra (for liver and kidneys), and Eluethero (really important for adrenals and restoration). I am also using very small amounts of Melatonin at night (CV throws off melatonin levels and while I am not a huge supplement person, I do feel this is important and has made a big difference in allowing me to sleep better which is vital to healing). I use a probiotic formulated for women. And then one of the newer things I have added in is a methylated folate - which I feel has made a huge difference. I am also using a neti pot with saltwater and colloidal silver twice daily, as CV really took a liking to my sinuses. And by recommendation from Matthew Wood, I just added a wild cherry bark syrup I made, as I also just learned that it is an amazing antihistamine.

So that sounds like a lot. It is. My body is going through a lot right now.

Now here are the doorways that this has all opened up for me, that I feel were vital for me to experience in order for me to pay attention to.........this is histamine and genetics. Two simple things right? HAHA........if only. What I am experiencing is familiar to me. It is a low level of what I experienced 25 years ago, which knowing what I have come to learn the past 6 years or so, know it was EBV with MCAS. And I really don't want to be as sick as I was back then.....(nor do I think I will because I have skills and wisdom and a wonderful circle of highly skilled friends who I can turn to for support.)

So I started to first dive into histamine - yeah most people even doctors are still referring this as allergies or as inflammation. It is and can be both.......but it more of the WHY underneath those things. (and no, it is not just your acchoooo! and your boxes of tissues to wipe your snot. It is all encompassing and affects every area of our bodies!). So I started diving in to learning all I could about histamine and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS)........and then a kindred soul who is a brilliantly skilled and knowledgeable herbalist, reached out with some other tidbits which sent me off full speed ahead (well not full speed.........Im still recovering from CV so it's more like half speed or maybe just 1/3 some days.), into the area of genetics......and HOLY COW! It is like I have opened up this treasure trove of something even deeper than the root cause.......I have opened up a treasure trove filled with what the roots are rooted in.........the soil! I am all about terrain and the more I learn the more I discount germ theory (not entirely.......or rather I think the theory is a bit bogus but I do feel it may still pertain to things like bacteria..........but how I am now viewing viruses is very very different - dare I say blasphemous to some circles!).

The tendrils and tentacles that I am exploring now through books, articles, and anything I can find that comes my way that I can digest, is essential to my work and to my particular work which is helping clients with chronic conditions. It is changing it. At first this frightened me, until I sat with all of it and realized that it these new depths don't discount anything. All of the things are still relevant and helpful and useful........and now I have deeper layers to work with. AND this is going to help people tremendously.

It is not that we won't need to explore the trauma pieces.....or that they won't still affect us.....they will......however when the soil is changed (such as we now have more dopamine operating in a healthy manner) our minds change, our emotions change, and the way we approach things changes. We are literally able to SEE things differently because we have made some finely tuned tweaks to something like our MTHFR or learned that our COMPT gene may operate slowly and could use a bit of support to function better. When we are in the muck and the gunk we just can't. I am a bit believer that we create our own reality.....and I do not think it is as easily as simply changing your thoughts.........or it CAN BE.....but when we are eating enriched bread with folic acid (did you know that it's mandatory that most, if not all, grains in the US are sprayed with folic acid, which is synthetic and unable to be processed by the body, which leads to a whole host of issues? - another rabbit hole I went down recently that I will share another time.) and you have trouble methylating (which 40% at last count of the population does), that you literally will be slowly making yourself sicker and sicker despite the other healthy choices that you may be making......well.....coming from that place it is really hard to just have a. more positive mindset.

And....we need to do both. I call it wagging the dog....or rather one of my teachers, Sara, called it that. She would say you can wag the dog from either end, and the dog still wags..........And I suppose this is a good place to wrap up this article....with that little idea......that I am leaning through my own body and what the universe sends my way, how to wag my dog from different angles to get the whole dog moving in a flowing rhythm, so I can help others do the same. Or maybe it's not a dog....I have always been quite fond of snakes too!

I am also reminded of the path of Vegetalista so beautifully written about by Stephen Buhner.....and how this path is hard, it will test you again and again, and it will take you through horrors to depths that you cannot possible imagine......and you will do it anyways because it is who you are and you would be incomplete if you did not ( will just keep knocking at your door, because these old things, these elder beings, they have a tendency to do probably best to answer and invite them in........for it is through your own horrors that they take you.......but it is the golden thread that you are following that they lead you to equally unimaginable beauty and life and love.)

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