I like a good. mystery. In fact, if I could have any job, real or fantasy, it probably would be to be a member of the Mystery Inc Scooby Doo crew! I'm enchanted by secret passageways, dark cobblestone tunnels, and the bringing forward of the metaphysical backdrop of the world.
Most of what I have experienced with covid symptom wise so far, is fairly typical......neurological inflammation with severe headaches and visual disturbances, violet vomitting and digestive distress, high fever and extreme temperature fluctuations (103.7 to 96.5 in a 20 minute time period), sleep disturbances, fatigue, and then all of the emotional stuff. And there is one thing that was new to me thatI am feeling quite severe, so I started to inquire. The more I spoke about it with folks on social media, the more I learned that it isn't all that uncommon and that many practitioners working in a clinical setting with covid folks have encountered this with the newer strain which does tend to create significant gastrointestinal inflammation and disruption.
I noticed that I could not tell if I was hungry or full. Like the physical symptoms I felt in my body were off, confused, and upside down and inside out. And so far, I have yet to find a pattern with it. In one instance I can drink a half a cup of tea and feel like I ate a huge Thanksgiving dinner. In another, I can eat 6 tacos and not feel like I've eaten more than 3 grapes. And then in yet another, I will feel extremely full and then realize, no I actually haven't eaten in 8 hours, so those feelings of full are actually incorrect. I am finding that the way around this is for me to eat by a clock, which is almost something I never do. I listen to my body. I eat when Im hungry and eat enough to feel satisfied. That inner mechanism is very disrupted.
A friend asked some questions about this system, and what it is to me, and who I am without it. My introspection system is how I know where I am in relation to everything else in the world. Without it, I feel like I am meandering through the dark. And it's a strange phenomena to not have "who I am " altered at all, in fact that is probably strengthened, but the "Where' is sort of floating out in the ethers right now without a strong tether.
So what is going on? Well all sorts of things likely. There is likely pretty severe gastrointestinal inflammation. There is likely a disruption of signals and messages in the neurological system, which feel most connected to this. There is a disruption of the endocrine system and a hormone called gherlin which is known as the "hunger detector", and is the hormone that tells you when you are hungry or full.....which then has a direct interaction with the hypothalamus. It's all a lot and I'll say it again....Covid is fucking weird. (there is absolutely ZERO doubt in. my mind that this is NOT a natural occurring virus. It definitely was something that at least in part, was manipulated. Simply put, microbes haven't evolved enough to do what covid does. Yes they are wicked stealthy and intelligent......and I just dont believe for a second that all of a sudden in 2019 the viruses could suddenly do what covid did. ......but Im getting off the subject.)
There are a couple of things I am doing right now to directly address the weird full/hunger signal thing. I am eating smaller more frequent meals. I am eating by the clock, because I am no longer getting cues from my body that I'm hungry. I am drinking ginger tea along with cleavers and mullein. I am doing soothing things like marshmallow root, slippery elm bark, and cinnamon. I am then doing my other herbs, which I will share about in another post soon (Mast Cell Activation herbs and dopamine herbs). I am walking daily. I am drinking about a gallon of water daily. I am reaching for melatonin in a small 1mg amount, which I have never used before, but knowing that sleep is essential, and I am struggling with that, I am bringing in a small amount for a short period of time.
I am also noticing my thoughts, emotions, and where those tend to flow, especially in my dreams.....and posing the question "What is it I cannot stomach?" along with "What do I THINK I need more of in my life, that I really have an excess of?" which gets into "scarcity and abundance", which has always been a very fascinating and frustrating exploration for. me.
It is absolutely fascinating how covid brings forward all of this and how it would be nearly impossible for anyone to not see the physical and emotional and mental entwining, which is really just different expression pathways of the same thing. In those respects, covid is a gift........it's drawing our attention through the physical pathway, and then inviting us to go deeper down into the little cracks and crevices to remove the bits of partially completed things.
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